"Dean Heller Sucks Up..."
"My Appointment Needs Some Ointment,
Several Egos I Did Bruise..."

At Wednesday’s Lincoln Day Dinner in Reno, Nevada’s Lt. Gov., Lonnie Hammargren, reprised some recent adventures (or misadventures) for the Republican crowd by pulling out a guitar, putting on a funny-looking big black hat, and performing what Hammargren called:

"The Ballad of Lonnie & Lincoln"

Smuggled a copy of the lyrics, Electric Nevada presents them here for your diversion. If you find that some of the references escape you, talk to someone who follows Silver State political news.

(To be sung to the tune of "Oh, My Darling Clementine")

Lincoln County had a meeting,
chose to fill a vacancy.
Asked the Gov’nr to make an appointment,
but he was cruising southern seas.

REFRAIN:

Oh my Gov’nr, Where’s my Gov’nr,
Lincoln County has a need.
You seem lost and gone forever,
please come home and pardon me.

Commissioner Ed Wright, trying to do right
for Lincoln County, saw a need.
Waited two months for an answer,
asked Lonnie to do the deed.
Constitution of Nevada
states when Gov’nr is away,
Lt. Gov’nr is acting Gov’nr,
What’s it mean in modern day?

Oh my Gov’nr, Where’s my Gov’nr,
Lincoln County has a need.
You seem lost and gone forever,
please come home and pardon me.

My appointment needs some ointment,
several egos I did bruise.
Lincoln County needed action,
so my powers I tried to use.
Dean Heller admits I’m Gov’nr,
but won’t attest my signature.
Negates his role in constitution,
sucks up to Bob & Frankie Sue.

Oh my Gov’nr, Where’s my Gov’nr,
Lincoln County has a need.
You seem lost and gone forever,
please come home and pardon me.

Attorney General reacted blindly,
rules there’s no immediate need.
But NEVER asked Lincoln County!
Bit of history… I intercede.
In a cavern, Yucca Mountain,
excavating for a dump.
Radioactive waste forever,
Nevada gets it in the rump.

Oh my Gov’nr, Where’s my Gov’nr,
Lincoln County has a need.
You seem lost and gone forever,
please come home and pardon me.

Rainbow Canyon, near Caliente,
with railroad tracks and sidings too.
Lincoln County, North of Vegas,
said this site would prob’ly do.
Rainbow Canyon would be perfect
to store railcars for a fee,
for caskets filled with radiation,
but politicians did not agree.

Oh my Gov’nr, Where’s my Gov’nr,
Lincoln County has a need.
You seem lost and gone forever,
please come home and pardon me.

Franke Sue sued Lincoln County
and abridged their liberty.
The Legislature censured A.G.,
Nevada’s first in history.
News reporters have a field day,
hammer Hammargren for his views.
But are grateful for his actions,
to provide them with some news.

Oh my Gov’nr, Where’s my Gov’nr,
Lincoln County has a need.
You seem lost and gone forever,
please come home and pardon me.

Legislature may try to change things,
Supreme Court will have its say.
But the people, the real government,
will someday vote their final way.

Oh my Gov’nr, Where’s my Gov’nr,
Lincoln County has a need.
You seem lost and gone forever,
please come home and pardon me.

 

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